you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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