im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
