I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
