And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
