Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
