Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
