Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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