you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
