So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Randomize
