What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
