I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
