i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
