i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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