He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
