My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
