Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
It's never too late to be topless.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
