i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
