I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
