God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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