I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
