Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
