wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Did I show you my penis last night?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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