You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
