I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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