Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Ketchup is God's man juice
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
