Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
