STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
