arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
