Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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