i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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