how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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