There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
