redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
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