Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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