Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Randomize
