In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Girls should come with a carfax report
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
