mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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