I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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