OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Randomize
