but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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