that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
