i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Randomize
