Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
