Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
