i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
