Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
