Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
