My boss' voice literally gives me gas
my sisters under your porch take her home
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
You did what with his pubic hair?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
