i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
