Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
