I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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