I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
