Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
